I literally do not know how to be loved like my life group is loving me this week.

I am completely overwhelmed by them. In entirely good ways, but still; I never thought something God would need to teach me is how to be loved.

What makes it even better is the undeniable truth that what they are loving is HIM in me. Because I've been a wreck this quarter. Felt out of control, useless, depressed, attacked, apathetic, miserable, idiotic, and a failure more times than I can count. And yet He is rocking the heck out and our group has become the most incredible, tight knit, loving, laughing, joy filled, relationship desiring, God seeking group I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. And I cannot even explain how ridiculously privileged I feel to be called the leader of this dazzlingly eclectic group of individuals. And God's using what he's built up in me, even while I feel like I'm asleep and dead, to do better work than I can do when I'm trying.

And now He's overwhelming me with their love. And, I kid you not, I do not know how to respond. There are even three specific people who have taken it upon themselves to tell me, frequently, the exact words "You are loved." (Granted, one of them is not in the group and took to doing this much longer ago than this week, but still. The three of them together is... unreal.)




All I can do is hug their letters in my arms and weep. It's like my soul's breaking open in sunlight.